[peel] Who here can relate??

[Sean Carolan]

Relate?  Hoo, yeah.

I found a solution, though - start digitizing.  Connect your turntable to your
computer (through, I admit, a complicated series of conversion doodads unless
you get - yes, it exists! - a new turntable with a USB output.)

You soon move from judging based on sentimentality to judging based on whether
it's really worth the effort to digitize the thing.  If it's not, great - it
goes in the "toss" pile.  If you can't stand to put it on your iPod, you
shouldn't stand for it taking up living space.

(And then I was ready to create an Internet radio station, because I'll be
damned if I do this much work without having something to show for it.)

Of course, I've managed to toss exactly zero records based on this criteria,
but someday...

-Sean

On Tue, 14 Nov 2006 09:30:07 -0500 (GMT-05:00), troche wrote
> http://arts.guardian.co.uk/features/story/0,,1927568,00.html
> 
> In the vinyl analysis
> Music fans over the age of 30 will have amassed a sizable record 
> collection over the years, which they rarely play. Is it time to put 
> away childish things?
> 
> By Jacques Peretti
> The Guardian
> 
> Saturday October 21, 2006
> 
> [UTF-8?]�I�ve done it. I have done it. I [UTF-8?]can�t actually believe
[UTF-8?]I�ve done it,
>  but I have (done it). And now [UTF-8?]I�m looking at the floor - at where 
> everything I loved and cherished and held dear to my cold heart used 
> to be - and I [UTF-8?]can�t help thinking it looks wrong. Yesterday, the 
> entire floor space of my dusty attic was covered in records: 30,000 
> lumps of plastic warping gently in the autumn sun. Records called 
> things like Trance Orgasm Express and Black Magic Horn by long-
> forgotten people with names such as DJ Spanky; Mushroom Mike and 
> Melting Dolphins (featuring the vocal talents of Janeen).
> 
> There they stood, like some frightening installation of everything 
> frightening and [UTF-8?]�underground� from the 1990s, a few embarrassing, a 
> few rare, believe it or not, and worth an absolute fortune, but the 
> vast majority (all of them basically, bar an armful), 1990s house 
> music in all its pompous glory: when dance music went all Rick 
> Wakeman and prog rock, taking itself so seriously, it disappeared up 
> its own linen-trousered backside. The King (Crimson) of this prog 
> house shit was someone called Sasha. Every Sasha record was 
> identical: [UTF-8?]there�d be a blurry photo on the cover of a moody Sasha 
> on a cliff-top, looking out across the sea to some far-away 
> destination (a place called Meaning). The record would last 45 
> minutes, with a 25-minute intro of doomy synth washes. This would be 
> followed by a multiple orgasm of drum-rolls and then some woman 
> (Janeen probably) wailing Take Me Higher, Let Me Be Your Fantasy,
>  Come On My Face or some such charming refrain over the top ...
> 
> [UTF-8?]I�m trying to damn these records to sound modern and with it but 
> truth is I have great affection for this rubbish - it sounds so 
> anachronistic now, [UTF-8?]it�s laughable. But at the time, it all made 
> sense and it was rock and guitars, not dance music, that seemed out 
> of date. I remember Bill Drummond of the KLF saying that in the 
> future, there will be no more need for to live music because [UTF-8?]we�ll 
> have enough samples to last forever. Oh well. [UTF-8?]There�s wrong and 
> [UTF-8?]there�s [UTF-8?]I�ve seen the future and its shaped like a rave
saucer. [UTF-8?]I�m 
> sitting in the living room under strict instructions from the missus 
> to be brutal when it comes to choosing what to keep when sorting my
[UTF-8?]�choons�.
> 
> I started out in front of the telly taking them a hundred at a time, 
> putting this [UTF-8?]L�il Louis French Kiss in the KEEP pile,
[UTF-8?]Phuture�s Acid 
> Trax in the KEEP pile, Josh [UTF-8?]Wink�s Higher State Of Consciousness,
>  hmmmm, in the KEEP pile. This is going well, this sorting out. It 
> takes me only a few minutes to get through a hundred records. [UTF-8?]�How 
> did that [UTF-8?]go?� the wife asks. [UTF-8?]�I have, [UTF-8?]let�s see,
ooh, maybe,
> 
> 96, 97, yup, about, er, 100 in the KEEP [UTF-8?]pile�.
> 
> [UTF-8?]�Right. And how many in the chuck [UTF-8?]pile?�
> 
> [UTF-8?]�In the CHUCK pile? Hmmm ... [UTF-8?]let�s see. That would be, er,
[UTF-8?]none�.
> 
> Turns out I was keeping not just the eBay-able records, but the 
> tackiest, cheesiest abominations ever committed to plastic: the rave 
> version of Jump by Van Halen, some speed barrage thing that sampled 
> the Casualty title music with bits of Knight Rider thrown in. I even 
> have a happy hardcore remix of the theme to Bob The Builder. [UTF-8?]�What 
> the fuck are you keeping this for? And why did you ever buy it in 
> the first [UTF-8?]place?� [UTF-8?]�It�s [UTF-8?]good!� I reply defensively.
[UTF-8?]�That�s rare 
> that. [UTF-8?]There�s an Erick Morillo dub on the back with no vocals and 
> that is [UTF-8?]awesome�. My wife looks at me with pity.
> 
> I need a different strategy. I need to chuck the lot. I could put it 
> all on eBay I suppose, but I think my records are better than that. 
> I see myself as some sort of house music curator, like a rave dad 
> version of Charles Saatchi, keen to donate my collection to a 
> deserving museum or library. [UTF-8?]�What the hell are you talking
[UTF-8?]about?� 
> my wife says. [UTF-8?]�Take them to [UTF-8?]Oxfam�. So off I go. [UTF-8?]I�m
weirdly hyped 
> up as I head off to Oxfam in Dalston - a veritable [UTF-8?]Aladdin�s 
> superstore of mauled [UTF-8?]children�s toys and dead [UTF-8?]people�s
cardigans.
> 
> [UTF-8?]�Hi,� I say brightly. [UTF-8?]�I�ve got about 30, 000 records I need
to get 
> rid [UTF-8?]of�. The quiet man at the counter looks at me. [UTF-8?]�OK,� he
replies. 
> [UTF-8?]�Where are [UTF-8?]they?� I take him and four colleagues to the back
of the 
> car. I open the boot, half-thinking I should have set up some 
> Raiders Of the Last Ark lightshow to go with the reveal moment.
> 
> [UTF-8?]�Wow!� They are not disappointed. Over the next three hours, we ship 
> the vinyl weight equivalent of nine elephants from my house to Oxfam.
> 
> [UTF-8?]�There�s some good stuff in [UTF-8?]here� one of the guys says to me
when 
> [UTF-8?]we�re nearly finished. [UTF-8?]�And some not so good [UTF-8?]stuff�
(holding up a 
> copy of Saturday Night by Whigfield (the Brothers In Rhythm remix). 
> [UTF-8?]�That is a credible [UTF-8?]tune!� I shout. [UTF-8?]�The Brothers In
Rhythm remix! 
> [UTF-8?]It�s ace! Ask [UTF-8?]anyone!!� [UTF-8?]�Not a patch on this
[UTF-8?]surely� he says,
>  taunting me with a Paul Oakenfold cash-in remix of The Lighthouse 
> Family. [UTF-8?]�I was given that! I never bought it ... I never ... bought 
> [UTF-8?]it� (my words petering out).
> 
> [UTF-8?]�Or [UTF-8?]this�. Nigel [UTF-8?]Benn�s rapping attempt to break
into the pop 
> business. [UTF-8?]�You bought [UTF-8?]that?!� I do not have words.
[UTF-8?]�Or [UTF-8?]this� Blue 
> [UTF-8?]Pearls� Naked In The Rain. I leave, without giving my name.
> 
> [UTF-8?]I�ve been here before. When I was 16, I sold all my records (about 5,
> 000 that time) in order to pay to travel round Europe (fucking 
> rubbish Europe, [UTF-8?]shouldn�t have bothered). I got about 100 quid from 
> some morose gent in a Cure T-shirt at Record & Tape Exchange. The 
> irony is that all those records I bought when 13, 14, 15 - avant 
> garde mid-1980s indie guitar thrash noise - would be worth a serious 
> amount of money today. They sound like The Killers, whereas house 
> music just sounds weird and gone. Like it never happened.
> 
> Anyway, I have a plan - now that [UTF-8?]I�m feeling the loss. [UTF-8?]I�m
thinking 
> of buying the records back - popping in and paying 50p a time. It 
> makes sense. [UTF-8?]It�s worth it. Join me if you like - [UTF-8?]I�ll be
the one 
> clutching The [UTF-8?]Prodigy�s Out Of Space and fighting off old people 
> trying to get to the Best Of Barbara [UTF-8?]Dickson.�
> 
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> 
> 
>