Low Frontman Explains Tour Cancellation

[Tom Roche]

  Low Frontman Explains Tour Cancellation



http://www.pastemagazine.com/images/articles/1699_image_1.jpg
(Photo [L-R]: Alan Sparhawk with wife/drummer Mimi Parker, and 
bassist Zak Sally)

  On the heels of Low's recently canceled tour, singer/guitarist Alan 
Sparhawk posted this message for fans on the "LOW community board" on 
the band's website:

  "dear friends,

  the following is a lot of sentences starting with "i". i've heard 
this is bad form and it tends to paint a very egocentric picture of 
the writer. good thing i'm a musician...

  low has to cancel the shows we have booked in may and june - perhaps 
beyond. i have always tried to extend true respect to the fans of our 
music. it would be very easy to just cancel without proper 
explanation, and hope that the rumors tipped our way, perhaps adding 
to some crafted mystique. but, i'm a coward and i'll leave that to 
the true artists.

  i have not been very mentally stable for the last while. due to 
this, touring at this time has become too much of a burden on 
everyone involved. my current problems and instability create undue 
and unnecessary stress for everyone close to me, especially on the 
road, so despite coming back from several months of shows we have 
thoroughly enjoyed playing and being a part of, i have to respect 
their best judgment. those last several months have been some of the 
hardest to live through, and it is too much to ask those around me to 
have to put up with that any more.

  for those of you who cling to details and think information is 
power; i have been speculated/diagnosed with everything from 
post-traumatic stress disorder, ADHD, bipolar whatever, suicidal 
depression/anxiety ("here's some pills, call me if you are still 
alive next week - oh, wait, sorry, your small business insurance plan 
doesn't cover all this..."), to paranoia, laziness, OCD, and good 
old-fashioned two-faced asshole-ness. i know - "big deal, who doesn't 
have problems? you have a great and easy life! how bad can it be!?!" 
i wish i was a better person, and i'm working on that, much in the 
same way everyone else does. unfortunately, for one reason or 
another, that battle for me right now abruptly demands some drastic 
effort, sacrifice, and change - and that's just to stay in the 
game... i feel like i've come through the worst of it, by there's 
nothing uglier than lips speaking vain promises, so forgive me if i'm 
reluctant to be the cheerleader this time. i need to get healthy, and 
it's apparent that something about touring right now is doing more 
damage than good.

  several months ago, amid a couple "bad days", i found myself 
standing in front of a photo of John Peel, on the wall outside one of 
the BBC studios on london. the image of his face in this photo is an 
image that exposes fools. i was ashamed to even look into his eyes. 
still, seeing his calm, wise face made me realize i had been letting 
my own selfish battle with sanity get in the way of the gift of music 
that i and we all are so privileged to be even a small part of. my 
thoughts raced. i remembered being in the man's home and meeting his 
family. if there has ever been an example of a selfless man, he 
surely was/is. yet, it hurt more than looking at the sun than to look 
at him on some piece of paper!?!... in that instant, i knew i was a 
fool, and that i had become the enemy. to many this may sound like a 
very weird and/or dangerous realization, but i have a feeling that 
that moment will be one i will look back upon someday as "where 
things changed." - where the eclipse peaked and began to wane. God 
bless the DJ.

  it breaks my heart. i love playing music and i love being able to 
play it for people, but i love the people i play music with the most. 
do the math. you have been so kind to us and the people we work with 
have been patient and selfless through all this, so despite complete 
faith that everyone probably understands and at least respects our 
decision, i still wish to extend my deepest apologies to all.

  now, to wrap this up, a word or two regarding the individual 
inconvenience and monetary loss involved: i know this sounds a bit 
assuming but, in a cosmic, semi-mentally-ill way, i feel every subway 
fare spent to go downtown to buy and now refund the tickets, every 
plan made and day worked extra so the day of the low show would be 
open, every broken heart that was looking forward to feeling my 
righteous guitar riffs up close and live, and every dollar that will 
have to come out of the pockets of the promoters of all these shows 
(i'm serious... despite all the sleazy stuff that goes on the music 
biz, most of the promoters we work with are very honest people who 
are not getting rich off what they do, but they still do it because 
they love music and the community they live in... please go easy on 
'em.)

  thank you, and again, i am very sorry. i suggest that instead of 
going to the low show, go for a walk with a friend or two that day - 
somewhere where there's trees or rocks and dirt or plants. i plan to 
do the same, each of those days, right here in beautiful duluth... or 
at the funny farm - who knows? either way....

  and please please please go out and get the M.I.A. cd!

  peace be with you.

  sincerely,

  g. alan sparhawk"

  (To read Paste's feature on Low click here.)